Tammy’s Tarot and Healing
I sometimes get labelled as wilful, uncooperative, a trouble maker, and intentionally displaying “bad” behaviour. I know better. My family know better. My friends know better. Anyone who understands Autism/Asperger’s knows better.
My actions are my way of communicating—a direct reflection of my confusion, agitation, and exasperation when dealing with people who chose to judge and not understand. Who look at my behaviour as though I’m simply being a brat – even when they have been given information to the contrary that I have Asperger’s and so therefore I am different.
When the condition is explained to people, many are dismissive and clearly, they insist, “Tammy is displaying noncompliant behaviour.” Someone recently wrote I was being ‘silly’.
In their eyes, I am strong-willed, stubborn, and defiant, and their response is to try to break me—to treat me as a trainer would treat a horse. To break me to meet their standards of behaviour because surely I am just being a pain in the ass for the sake of it.
Some have even gone as far to slander my business and my name, because they simply do not understand the condition and who I am as a person. Their response is to tell people Tammy is ‘dangerous’ and should be doing the work she does.
What do educators and society offer to help people with Autism and Asperger’s learn to communicate? Practically nothing. The way of society seems to focus first on controlling a person’s behaviour, and, only after achieving success, to address the area of communication.
They have it all wrong.
People neglect to ask “Why?” They don’t listen carefully or observe closely. Instead of seeking to understand the person’s perspective and experience, they simply try to manage the behaviour. If only more people would seek to understand, rather than control…. please, please, please, I beg of you to at least ask why first before judgement and then control, control, control!!
I know for sure how I react to someone trying to control me is to become more frustrated and the more frustrated I become the more my behaviour is ‘wilful, stubborn and reactive’. It’s not a choice.
Please don’t judge another human being especially if you don’t’ choose to understand their background or medical conditions.
I’ve adapted this piece from the words of “Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism”
This is my way to educate through sharing my experiences (which some people view as over sharing, and yet I view it as opening the eyes of many who may never have experienced it before.)
The photo is of myself (in the turquoise, and my sister in the orange) and my nephews and niece. We all have Asperger’s (bar my sister) and we are all loving and beautiful and amazing.